I AM NOT YOUR GAY BFF

strolling | free condoms; pay for tampons, typecasting, "selling out", r...

As a black woman, hearing some of these truths is hurtful.

Freedom

I was once a slave
A slave to people's ideas and opinions.
A conformist really.
If I wasn't conforming
I was rebelling
Against my better judgement.

I did this until I saw this same characteristic in somebody else.
A sponge that absorbed everybody's opinions but their own.
It was ugly.
It was pathetic.
It made me loath myself.
Because I saw it in somebody else, I realized how it MUST look on me.

I realized that I have a mind of my own
So... can I not come up with original ideas of my own?
Can I not comprehend and develop an opinion on what is happening around me?
Why should I lock my subconscious along with my opinions in a cage to make room for other people's ideas?
Today, I analysed somebody's opinion and  reasoned it wasn't best for it to be MY opinion.
That's when I realized that I just freed myself from a part of my mental slavery.
So... some emancipation was accomplished today.
& it feels good.

The build up.

At some point we have all watched a cliche movie where everything works out in the end.
A chick flick.
A comedy.
A dance film.
They all have the same underlining plot.
There's a dream of some kind, there's some success then eventually a setback followed by a comeback.
Most people are amazed by the finale, the grand masterpiece and then almost feel entitled to having the same thing.
The guy running up to the girl in the pouring rain and kissing her.
The underdog dance crew delivering an amazing performance, finally winning that award.
You know what I find most inspiring?
The build up.
All the little things that were done to do the Big Thing.
The thing that people forget is that it doesn't just happen.
You don't wake up one day and everything is perfect.
It's all the little things that you do that lead to that perfection.

Lets take New Year Resolutions.
So many of us try and be perfectionists with them (myself included).
They have to be ready by New Years Eve and somehow, magically you are supposed to be able to change the second the clock strikes midnight.
If it was so easy... why didn't you just do it before?
You can't, which is why by March you have already forgotten and broken your resolutions.
You are not some type of machine where new software can replace the bugs in the older type.
Your transformation is a build up.
It does not just happen.

Doing the same thing, while expecting different results is the defenition of madness.
Why do you have to limit your resolutions to perfection?
Why give up the second you get it wrong?
All you'll do is discard it and make it next years resolution... or give up on it all together.
That's why I'm PURPOSELY posting this piece late!
To inspire you to get back to those resolutions.
So you vowed to quit smoking and had a cigarette or two.
At least you've decreased the amount you were originally smoking.
Your resolution is working, sure it's taking a little longer than anticipated but it's working.
If you keep working on it, you might just get there.
So get up and keep doing what you originally wanted to do.
They are called New Years Resolutions, not "only when I do them perfectly in the beginning of the new year" resolutions.

Progress is a process so keep it moving.
That grand finale only happens when you build up to it.
What will you do today to get your perfect, almost corny and happy ending?

“I bow out of the philosophical race with the knowledge that anything I say has already been quoted & linked to someone more established.”

Read this on Twitter today and it got me thinking about one aspect of my generation’s mentality: All that can be done, has already been done, all that can be invented, has already been invented & all that can be said has already been said. Basically, the zenith for human creativity has already passed. I will be the first to admit that my generation is the laziest one yet, however curiously we are also the most insatiable one. We want more, faster, cheaper, better. Yet very few of us take the initiative to make, improve or invent the changes we all seem to want.

Why is that? Isn’t “wanting more” a suitable drive to make more, invent more, think more, BE more? Only few people think this way which is why we rarely hear of new inventions, new ideologies and people doing things that are seen as an aberration.

It almost makes me lose hope in humanity because in a sense it is like we are devolving. Can you blame me though? Look at global warming, wars, the general instability in the world, etc. Sure, a lot of these issues have always been there, but why haven’t we evolved as a species into amending these issues? Instead we ameliorate the damages caused by these issues, instead of just killing an army with guns, we invest and create even deadlier weapons that can kill millions, even billions of innocent civilians. In a sense, we are devolving by improving ways to mess up our own lives and our fellow being’s lives.

But, I said I have almost lost hope. I have a little hope because there are far and few people in the world who are willing to fight to make people see things differently, who are willing to do things differently, even think differently. It doesn’t have to be a scientist finding the cure for AIDS or a politician discovering a whole new ideology to rule his/her country by. It could honestly be as simple as a Catholic accepting that their friend is atheist, or a straight person acknowledging that some people are just born gay/lesbian/bisexual.

When humans open up their minds and acknowledge that they do not know everything or know what is best then evolution can take place. And I mean evolution on all fronts, not just technological. I mean spiritually, sexually, emotionally & religiously as well because these parts are not on par with how developed we are when it comes to technology. When we stop being arrogant is when we can truly develop as a specie. Seriously though, you think that if we were more developed emotionally, we would still have wars going on somewhere in the world? I strongly doubt it.

I do have hope in humanity, I really do. But because few of us dare to think differently, evolution has been slowed down quite a bit, but if you give us some time I’m hoping that the net product of our thinking can lead to evolution.... eventually. I’m currently rather skeptical but there is still a smidgen of hope, and if I act on it I am helping my specie develop.... right?

Other People’s Opinions

As a young person, I have always been encouraged not to care about other people's views of me, but lately, that thought process has been called into questioning.

I recently read “The Secret” and it got me thinking, if our thoughts make up our own universe, who’s to say that someone else’s can’t influence your universe?

Think about it, our friends, our families and even our enemies are components of our world.

How we view them, how we feel about them and how we treat them do from time to time cross our minds.

Who’s to say that we don’t influence them with the power of our thoughts?

Who’s to say that our opinions have no power?

I’m not saying that someone else’s opinion can influence your whole life, there are so many real life cases that prove me wrong, but who’s to say that they don’t influence the parts of your life that you agree on?

Isn't this why positive things happen when you are around positive people?

Because not one person’s thoughts but two are emitting positive things into the universe for you.

I mean 2 are better than one, right?

So I think that in certain aspects, people’s opinions of you do matter.

You need to choose how you want the world to see you and act on that.

Because those small opinions that they have of you, the parts you are in sync with that can be key factors in how your world can be.

The more positivity there is, the greater the force you are emitting.

Let’s say you are not a believer in the Secret, I’d like to share with you why I still think that other people’s opinions are important.

Your actions make up who you are.

Don’t you agree?

You postpone cleaning your room therefore you are most likely to postpone doing the majority of things in your life, and without realizing it you may even postpone your future success or happiness.

I’m not saying that you should walk around continuously trying to please people or prove to them that you are worth something because some of the greatest scientists in history were seen as crazy until proven right.

But in actuality, we all need somebody to believe in us.

I think that just one other person’s faith can make all the difference in your life.

So watch the people you surround yourself with and try and make sure that they see you the way you want to be seen, because with those actions, you are a step closer to becoming who you want to be.

Africa’s view from another point of view

So, being an African I have become accustomed to the ignorant views that the world has on my continent.

& it makes me wonder how on earth this happened.

To uneducated and misinformed people Africa is depicted as a single country, not consisting of independent areas, where there is a lack of civilization and an abhorrent amount of poverty and suffering.

And sadly, I blame this world view on my fellow Africans.

I could blame the rest of the world for focusing on the negative aspects in Africa.

I could blame foreigners for taking our land or our minerals.

And these are a factors, I will not disagree.

But I still choose to blame my fellow Africans.

If you are African, you are probably wondering what a horrible person I am to say such a thing, but hear me out.

I feel like Africans feel like they should be Westernized  a thought process that shall be doomed for failure.

The Westerners are amazing at what they do, because they came up with how to do it.

I respect that, I have no bitter feelings nor am I envious of this.

As every person is unique, so is every continent.

And trying to be like the west is doomed for failure no matter the time, information, or money we are given.

Today, I will be focusing on the African need to impress the rest of the world when we do not even have ourselves in order.

We do elaborate things like buying private jets or spending millions on a Presidential home, not because it’s necessary, but because we want to impress.

Don’t you ever wonder what a difference it would make if African countries used their money a little more wisely?

Even if just for a brief period of time?

Do you really think we would still need so much foreign aid if we made aiding ourselves a priority?

We should attempt helping ourselves before asking for help or allowing for anybody else to help us.

Think about yourself, when you have a lot of pride and are suffering, you gather all your strength to fix yourself and if you fail, then you ask for help.

It should be like that with our governments, we should focus on building ourselves first before asking for help.

Do you know how much the world’s views on Africa would change if we vanquished our own poverty?

It would gain Africa a lot of credit and respect as a whole continent because all we have done is depicted ourselves as weak and perhaps even a little greedy.

It could be done though, blessed countries could help themselves then help their neighbors.

African’s are notorious for being generous people who want the best for their community as a whole, and I honestly feel like the US views on politics especially capitalism is one of the major downfalls of Africa as a continent because we are forcing ourselves to view things in a way that’s unnatural for us and as a result our continent is still suffering greatly.

If we tried to do things our own way, stick to our values and our nature then our land shall heal itself but as long as we are trying to be something that we are not, we can never truly develop because we are imitating what we can never be.

I mean, driving a Benz is pretty cool.

But wouldn't it be cooler if the rest of the world could imagine African countries as  places where driving a Benz is normal?

I know I have left a number of points here untouched, but I shall be getting on them soon enough.

Written by a thinker